


settled for a ghost i never knew

by blessed_image



Series: bury a friend: umbrella academy fics [5]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Agender Number Five | The Boy, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Good Brother Ben Hargreeves, Good Brother Diego Hargreeves, Good Brother Klaus Hargreeves, Hurt/Comfort, Number Five | The Boy Has Issues, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, Other, anyway luther is stupid, daily reminder, hes not in this but still, reuinion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-21 15:11:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18143837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blessed_image/pseuds/blessed_image
Summary: Five has been missing Ben. Diego and Klaus make sure to make them feel a little better.





	settled for a ghost i never knew

**number one**

**one slipped away**

Five hated the apocalypse, let this stay forever a very known fact. Nobody would enjoy it, but Five? Five despised it.

 

No one else had to, at thirteen years old, find the bodies of the siblings they had no way to get back to. No one else had to deal with the dawning fact that they may never get to see their siblings with life, with light in their eyes, again. All because they got made at their dad, wanting to prove that they could do more.

 

At least Five got to prove their idiocy.

 

But they’re back now, so why do they still feel the ash encasing their body? Why do they still feel so warm? Why do they still see the dead look in their sibling’s eyes? The same siblings they get to see walking around daily?

 

Why do they still smell the disgusting rot, and feel the disgusting rot? Why do they still get dragged back into the moment in which they clung so tightly to that same disgusting rot, every time they even brush shoulders with their siblings?

 

The only one they can be near without remembering, and smelling, and hearing, and feeling death is Vanya. Vanya, who hadn’t been with the rest of the bodies in the apocalypse- because she was the apocalypse.

 

There was Ben, too. But it hurts too much to think about him. It hurts too much to know that they weren’t even there to see Ben grow up, to see the last breath he would take, to see the burial. It hurts enough to know they missed seventeen whole years of their brother’s and sister’s lives; never mind the fact they will never see one of them again.

 

**number two**

**and two is us**

 

Their fingers are interlocked with Dolores’, and they feel safe. They feel safe in the presence of her, they feel safe in the embrace of her; she was the only one in the apocalypse that wasn’t ash or rotten flesh. The one who was able to distract Five from the fire and death; even if only for a minute.

 

They felt safe with their girl, as they lay curled up on top of the covers of their bed; Dolores leaning over them and holding their hand with such care that Five feels like crying.

 

“You should go to him, dear.” she whispers against the skin of their ear; glossy lips pressing a small kiss to the helix.

 

They slide their eyes over to look at her, as she pushes her curly black hair behind her ear. Her smile is kind. Too kind for Five.

 

“Who?” they ask, voice quiet and low. She breathes in, and her brown eyes soften.

 

“Ben.” she answers, and Five huffs in response- curling more in on themself. “It would do you some good to...say goodbye.”

 

Five chuckles sarcastically, but entertains the idea in their head- looking at the door and narrowing their eyes.

 

“Please just-“ Dolores starts again, before frowning and resting her chin on Five’s shoulder. “Just think about it. Okay?”

 

Five nods.

 

**number three**

**if three is a crowd**

Five shouldn’t have listened to Dolores. Five should’ve just said no to her, but instead here they are; holding her in their arms as they stand in front of the statue commemorating their fallen brother.

 

They look at her, and her lips curl up into apleasant grin; nodding at them.

 

“It’s okay.” she soothes, running a soft hand through their hair; and she lays a small kiss against their cheek. “You can do this, Five.”

 

They nod, inhaling a sharp breath and glowering at the face of the statue. Five doesn’t want to place the name, doesn’t want to look down at the plate where the words are scribbled neatly at the bottom. But they do anyway, since they feel safe in the arms of Dolores.

 

Her hand stops in their hair, and when they go to look at her she speaks again.

 

“Don’t.” she whispers, so they don’t. She’s probably just watching a bird land on a tree branch, wanting to give Five some privacy.

 

She watches Diego, not a dove.

 

**number four**

**four days has never felt so wrong**

 

There’s a small knock at their door, and Five looks away from the book they were reading to glare at the opening.

 

“What?” they ask, already decidedly done with whoever it was. The door opens slowly, creaking slightly due to age. Diego enters, closing the door behind him before looking at Five and half smiling.

 

“Hey.” he greets, glancing quickly at the book that Five has now set down on their desk. The shorter of the two catches his eye, frowning.

 

“What do you want?” they ask, ignoring Dolores’ coo at how ‘diego is such a caring brother’.

 

“Am I not allowed to just check up on you?” He asks, which causes Five to glare even harder at the intruder. “Okay, okay, you caught me. I, uh, I actually saw you yesterday.”

 

Five raises one eyebrow at this, daring for him to carry on. Diego recognises the danger in this, and frowns.

 

“Listen, Five, It’s okay to miss him.” he states, and watches as Five looks at the mannequin bust displayed on the dresser nearby. “Did Dolores tell you to see him?”

 

Five startles at this, lifting their arms to hug themself.

 

“That’s irrelevant.”

 

Diego sighs, says goodbye and decides to speak to Klaus.

**number five**

**five words you’ll never say**

There’s another knock on their door just an hour later, and they still haven’t managed to finish the book they’re reading. Five rolls their eyes, pushing themself off the desk; the chair rolling on it’s wheels to the door. They open it just an inch and glare at the person on the other side.

 

“What the fuck do you want, Klaus?” they question the man standing outside, throwing metaphorical knives with their eyes. Klaus holds his hands up in mock surrender, pushing open the door the rest of the way as Five rolls back to their desk.

 

“Am I not allowed to see how my babiest sibling is doing?” he says in a jovial tone, ignoring the way Five groans at the way they are described. “Diego spoke to me.”

 

Five freezes, and folds their hands in their lap; choosing to avoid Klaus’ gaze the best they can.

 

“And our very, very, very intimidating brother told me-“ Five rolls their eyes again. “-that you went to check on Benny’s memorial!”

 

“Irrelevant. Why are you here again?” they mock, smiling in annoyance. “Just to annoy me? Diego has already done enough of that so leave.”

 

Klaus just waves them off, dismissing the fact that he has definitely overstayed his welcome.

 

Five picks up their book again, but is unable to focus correctly because of the heavy presence of their most flamboyant brother; who has decided to take a seat on their bed.

 

“You know...” he starts, trying to get a peek at the front cover of what Five is reading; but can’t since they spin away from his gaze. “...Ben is here right now.”

 

That makes it all stop. It makes the spinning stop, and the tapping of Dolores’ nails against the hardwood stop, and Five’s heart stop.

 

“..What?” they ask, voice lower than a whisper and somehow still breaking.

 

“Ben is here right now, silly! Didn’t you hear me, old man?” Klaus jests, smiling brightly when Five looks at him over their shoulder. “Do you wanna speak to him?”

 

“How the fuck would I do that?” They sigh loudly, exasperated and pissed off at this point. Klaus purses his lips and blinks a few times in the silence, and Five’s eyes return back to their book.

 

Until it happened. A small, timid tap on their shoulder; which originally made them more annoyed due to the presumption that it was just Klaus being even more of an ass if possible.

 

“Klaus-“ they stress, before swivelling in their chair and widening their eyes, dropping their book in consequence of their shock. “Oh.”

 

“Oh? Is that all you have to say?” Ben laughs, smiling illuminously in amusement at Five’s reaction- which is very typical of their personality. However, he stills and frowns when he notices how Five’s eyes flood suddenly. “Oh fuuuck, don’t cry!”

 

“Ben...” they whisper, suddenly jumping up and wrapping their arms around his neck. Ben wraps his arms around the smaller of the room, letting them bury their face into his neck and wail. He looks behind him to see Klaus giving him a thumbs up and mouthing ‘looks like it’s going well’.

 

He rolls his eyes and focuses back on them, patting their back and whispering sweet words in their ear. After a minute, he releases the child and strokes their hair soothingly.

 

“You done?” he smiles, watching Five sniffle and look at him happily. They nod.

 

“I missed you.” they say, voice breaking. “So much.”

 

Ben ruffles their hair and giggles at the small hands that reach up in an attempt to stop him.

 

“I missed you, too, buddy.” Five rubs at their eyes with their fists and nods slowly, before looking up at Ben with sad eyes again and holding out their arms expectantly. Ben huffs out a happy breath before accepting the second hug , ignoring the pressure he feels against his neck as Five whispers ‘thank you’ to Klaus.

 

**i regret not saying goodbye**

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for fuckin READIGN
> 
> i have another fic coming in today but im gonna leave it a few hours skaksksk


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